It’s hard Lex, so hard.  But we will get there.  

It’s hard Lex, so hard.  But we will get there.  

When Does The Pain Go Away?

littlelexgrey:

drmarkplasticsloan:

littlelexgrey:

drmarkplasticsloan:

littlelexgrey:

drmarkplasticsloan:

littlelexgrey:

drmarkplasticsloan:

littlelexgrey:

drmarkplasticsloan:

It had been two days and Lexie was being released from the hospital. Nothing was right in their world, nothing at all. ”How you feeling?” Mark asked quietly as he took a sip of his coffee. He didn’t know what to say or do. He hated holding his daughter now. He could…

“That’s fine.” Lexie replied again, in the same voice she had been using since she was told her baby didn’t make it. Didn’t make it, She had told so many parents, brothers, Sisters and other family members that “Their” Child didn’t make it. Lexie knew now that she didn’t understand back than, She couldn’t possibly know how much it hurt just to breathe air when she can’t hold her child, or rock him to sleep. It was painful to sleep, eat or even talk to anyone knowing her child was gone. She didn’t know how she will ever get over the loss.

Mark could only nod his head.  Neither of them wanted this.  Neither of them wanted to go home tonight without their son.  It was the harsh reality of their lives now.  He picked up her bag and slung it over his shoulder.  

“Let’s get out of here,” he said quietly, holding his hand out to her.  

Lexie didn’t say anything else. She took a hold of Mark’s hand, griping it as tightly as she could without hurting him and nodded. She had no idea where they were going but she needed to be anywhere that mark was, he was the only thing left now.

I lace my fingers with Lexie’s, I wish I knew what to say to her or how to make this better for her, but I can’t bring him back and tomorrow we have to go to our sons funeral.  I planned a small service, so mostly us, would feel a sense of closure.  

“I love you.”

“I love you too.” Lexie replied in a whisper as if her voice was disapearing from her vocal cords. She took mark’s hand up to her lips and kissed his nuckles, She was feeling her tears threatening to fall again, So she let go of his hand and put her arms around his waist waiting him closer, Lexie needed to feel safe, Mark always made her feel safe. 

Mark pulled Lexie close to him and wrapped both his arms around her.  He gently rubbed his hands up and down her back and kissed the top of her head.  He wished there was something, anything he could say to make her feel better, to ease her pain, but there was nothing.  ”We’ll get through this,” he whispered into her hair.  

He didn’t know how, he just knew they had no other choice.  

“Together.” She softy replied as she felt his hold a little tighter. Lexie was tired, She was Exhausted and maybe just a little scared. She had so many things rumbling in her mind all at once, Could she had prevented this? was a high power telling her a child just wasn’t going to happen. Lexie looked at mark and one big question floated about. Would mark stay with her being he loved her or out of obligation.

After holding her for a moment longer, Mark let go of Lexie and led her down to the car, trying to avoid the stares.  Everyone felt so sorry for them, they lost a baby.  He didn’t need the looks of pitty.  

When they got down to the car, he held the door open for Lexie and waited for her to get in before closing it and going around to the passenger side.  

“Are you hungry?”

Lexie walking right along side of mark could feel everyone stare at her. She hated that feeling, feeling as if they we’re all judging her and what happened and how they would have prevented it from happening to them. Lexie kept her eyes focused in front of her, ignoring all the stares.

“No.” She answered Mark.

Mark nodded his head, of course.  How could she be hungry at a time like this?  He hadn’t eaten in days, but now his job was to focus on Lexie and make sure she was okay and was going to be okay in spite of everything.  He opened her door for her and waited for her to get in and then drove them towards his apartment.  

littlelexgrey:

drmarkplasticsloan:

littlelexgrey:

drmarkplasticsloan:

littlelexgrey:

drmarkplasticsloan:

littlelexgrey:

drmarkplasticsloan:

It had been two days and Lexie was being released from the hospital. Nothing was right in their world, nothing at all. ”How you feeling?” Mark asked quietly as he took a sip of his coffee. He didn’t know what to say or do. He hated holding his daughter now. He could…

“That’s fine.” Lexie replied again, in the same voice she had been using since she was told her baby didn’t make it. Didn’t make it, She had told so many parents, brothers, Sisters and other family members that “Their” Child didn’t make it. Lexie knew now that she didn’t understand back than, She couldn’t possibly know how much it hurt just to breathe air when she can’t hold her child, or rock him to sleep. It was painful to sleep, eat or even talk to anyone knowing her child was gone. She didn’t know how she will ever get over the loss.

Mark could only nod his head.  Neither of them wanted this.  Neither of them wanted to go home tonight without their son.  It was the harsh reality of their lives now.  He picked up her bag and slung it over his shoulder.  

“Let’s get out of here,” he said quietly, holding his hand out to her.  

Lexie didn’t say anything else. She took a hold of Mark’s hand, griping it as tightly as she could without hurting him and nodded. She had no idea where they were going but she needed to be anywhere that mark was, he was the only thing left now.

I lace my fingers with Lexie’s, I wish I knew what to say to her or how to make this better for her, but I can’t bring him back and tomorrow we have to go to our sons funeral.  I planned a small service, so mostly us, would feel a sense of closure.  

“I love you.”

“I love you too.” Lexie replied in a whisper as if her voice was disapearing from her vocal cords. She took mark’s hand up to her lips and kissed his nuckles, She was feeling her tears threatening to fall again, So she let go of his hand and put her arms around his waist waiting him closer, Lexie needed to feel safe, Mark always made her feel safe. 

Mark pulled Lexie close to him and wrapped both his arms around her.  He gently rubbed his hands up and down her back and kissed the top of her head.  He wished there was something, anything he could say to make her feel better, to ease her pain, but there was nothing.  ”We’ll get through this,” he whispered into her hair.  

He didn’t know how, he just knew they had no other choice.  

“Together.” She softy replied as she felt his hold a little tighter. Lexie was tired, She was Exhausted and maybe just a little scared. She had so many things rumbling in her mind all at once, Could she had prevented this? was a high power telling her a child just wasn’t going to happen. Lexie looked at mark and one big question floated about. Would mark stay with her being he loved her or out of obligation.

After holding her for a moment longer, Mark let go of Lexie and led her down to the car, trying to avoid the stares.  Everyone felt so sorry for them, they lost a baby.  He didn’t need the looks of pitty.  

When they got down to the car, he held the door open for Lexie and waited for her to get in before closing it and going around to the passenger side.  

"Are you hungry?"

littlelexgrey:

drmarkplasticsloan:

littlelexgrey:

drmarkplasticsloan:

littlelexgrey:

drmarkplasticsloan:

It had been two days and Lexie was being released from the hospital. Nothing was right in their world, nothing at all. ”How you feeling?” Mark asked quietly as he took a sip of his coffee. He didn’t know what to say or do. He hated holding his daughter now. He could…

“That’s fine.” Lexie replied again, in the same voice she had been using since she was told her baby didn’t make it. Didn’t make it, She had told so many parents, brothers, Sisters and other family members that “Their” Child didn’t make it. Lexie knew now that she didn’t understand back than, She couldn’t possibly know how much it hurt just to breathe air when she can’t hold her child, or rock him to sleep. It was painful to sleep, eat or even talk to anyone knowing her child was gone. She didn’t know how she will ever get over the loss.

Mark could only nod his head.  Neither of them wanted this.  Neither of them wanted to go home tonight without their son.  It was the harsh reality of their lives now.  He picked up her bag and slung it over his shoulder.  

“Let’s get out of here,” he said quietly, holding his hand out to her.  

Lexie didn’t say anything else. She took a hold of Mark’s hand, griping it as tightly as she could without hurting him and nodded. She had no idea where they were going but she needed to be anywhere that mark was, he was the only thing left now.

I lace my fingers with Lexie’s, I wish I knew what to say to her or how to make this better for her, but I can’t bring him back and tomorrow we have to go to our sons funeral.  I planned a small service, so mostly us, would feel a sense of closure.  

“I love you.”

“I love you too.” Lexie replied in a whisper as if her voice was disapearing from her vocal cords. She took mark’s hand up to her lips and kissed his nuckles, She was feeling her tears threatening to fall again, So she let go of his hand and put her arms around his waist waiting him closer, Lexie needed to feel safe, Mark always made her feel safe. 

Mark pulled Lexie close to him and wrapped both his arms around her.  He gently rubbed his hands up and down her back and kissed the top of her head.  He wished there was something, anything he could say to make her feel better, to ease her pain, but there was nothing.  ”We’ll get through this,” he whispered into her hair.  

He didn’t know how, he just knew they had no other choice.  

littlelexgrey:

drmarkplasticsloan:

littlelexgrey:

drmarkplasticsloan:

It had been two days and Lexie was being released from the hospital. Nothing was right in their world, nothing at all. ”How you feeling?” Mark asked quietly as he took a sip of his coffee. He didn’t know what to say or do. He hated holding his daughter now. He could…

“That’s fine.” Lexie replied again, in the same voice she had been using since she was told her baby didn’t make it. Didn’t make it, She had told so many parents, brothers, Sisters and other family members that “Their” Child didn’t make it. Lexie knew now that she didn’t understand back than, She couldn’t possibly know how much it hurt just to breathe air when she can’t hold her child, or rock him to sleep. It was painful to sleep, eat or even talk to anyone knowing her child was gone. She didn’t know how she will ever get over the loss.

Mark could only nod his head.  Neither of them wanted this.  Neither of them wanted to go home tonight without their son.  It was the harsh reality of their lives now.  He picked up her bag and slung it over his shoulder.  

“Let’s get out of here,” he said quietly, holding his hand out to her.  

Lexie didn’t say anything else. She took a hold of Mark’s hand, griping it as tightly as she could without hurting him and nodded. She had no idea where they were going but she needed to be anywhere that mark was, he was the only thing left now.

I lace my fingers with Lexie’s, I wish I knew what to say to her or how to make this better for her, but I can’t bring him back and tomorrow we have to go to our sons funeral.  I planned a small service, so mostly us, would feel a sense of closure.  

"I love you."

littlelexgrey:

drmarkplasticsloan:

It had been two days and Lexie was being released from the hospital. Nothing was right in their world, nothing at all. ”How you feeling?” Mark asked quietly as he took a sip of his coffee. He didn’t know what to say or do. He hated holding his daughter now. He could…

“That’s fine.” Lexie replied again, in the same voice she had been using since she was told her baby didn’t make it. Didn’t make it, She had told so many parents, brothers, Sisters and other family members that “Their” Child didn’t make it. Lexie knew now that she didn’t understand back than, She couldn’t possibly know how much it hurt just to breathe air when she can’t hold her child, or rock him to sleep. It was painful to sleep, eat or even talk to anyone knowing her child was gone. She didn’t know how she will ever get over the loss.

Mark could only nod his head.  Neither of them wanted this.  Neither of them wanted to go home tonight without their son.  It was the harsh reality of their lives now.  He picked up her bag and slung it over his shoulder.  

"Let’s get out of here," he said quietly, holding his hand out to her.  

Going Home (Lexie and Mark)

drmarkplasticsloan:

It had been two days and Lexie was being released from the hospital.  Nothing was right in their world, nothing at all.  ”How you feeling?” Mark asked quietly as he took a sip of his coffee.  He didn’t know what to say or do.  He hated holding his daughter now.  He could barely look at Sofia and it killed him.  

He was lost.  

“I’m fine.” Lexie kept saying it, for the past two days. anytime anyone would ask her she would give them the same answer, it was like a script in her head, she kept saying it and sometimes not even caring that she told the same people the same thing over and over. She was lost, lonely and felt numb all over, all the time. Lexie thought maybe, just maybe if she kept saying it. One of these days she would wake up and it would actually be true.

He nodded his head and walked into the room.  He had no idea what to do or say to her.  This was so hard.  None of this should have happened to them.  ”So I figured we would go to my place, is that okay with you?” he asked.  

He didn’t want to go back to Meredith’s, where everything had started happening.  

Going Home (Lexie and Mark)

It had been two days and Lexie was being released from the hospital.  Nothing was right in their world, nothing at all.  ”How you feeling?” Mark asked quietly as he took a sip of his coffee.  He didn’t know what to say or do.  He hated holding his daughter now.  He could barely look at Sofia and it killed him.  

He was lost.  

littlelexgrey:

littlelexgrey:

drmarkplasticsloan:

l

Mark knew there was nothing he could do at this point. ”I wish I could sweetie, I wish I could. You shouldn’t have to go through this,” he whispered as he continued to cry. She was going to fall apart when she held him.

She held onto Mark…

“No .. I don’t know.” Lexie said confused. “I don’t know If I can. I’m not strong enough, Mark.” She rested her head in the crook of his neck. “I want to go home.” 

Mark nodded, she didn’t have to see their baby if she didn’t want too.  ”You can’t go home just yet.  Probably tomorrow,” he told her softly.  He gently rubbed her back, not knowing what else to do.